Category Archives: Depression

Don’t come down from that wall! Pt. 6

And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?” Nehemiah 6:3

We have looked at several things that are used to either distract or discourage us from this very high calling that our Lord has given us.  Things that would allure us to come down off of our God-given duties. Have you been able to relate to any of them?  I certainly can write all this from experience!  It seems daily that many of these things creep up to bring me down.

Today we are going to talk about a couple of specific temptations to distraction that are very prevalent, especially in our technical age.

The Telephone:

How many times are we distracted off of our duties and tempted to neglect them because of needing to just make one more phone call.  Or just as we were to engage in a heart to heart talk with our children, the phone rings.  Have you ever noticed how often that familiar ring will begin right as you sit down to family worship?  And it is not uncommon to have a quick call to a friend become a long, engaging conversation.  Even calls to “encourage” another sister, can actually be pulling us from our loved ones, if they are made at the wrong time.

I had a friend at one time choose to go on a friend phone fast for a while.  She realized that her focus had to be in her home and with her children.  I am all about Titus 2, godly mentoring, profitable phone appointments between sisters, but it all must be placed in its proper position so as not to sacrifice the best for a good thing.

But perhaps in our culture is an even bigger temptation to distraction is…

Email, Social Media, and ahem Blogging:

I love to blog.  I love the computer.  I love getting and writing emails.  I have a smart phone and use it often to check my Facebook.  But, let’s face it…it is a double-edged sword, isn’t it?  These things can be wonderful tools, but can get out of hand quickly.  Just one more email.  Did someone post something new on Facebook?  Did I get any blog comments?  Oh, I need to answer that comment quickly. And before I know it, chunks of time have passed by.  My dear husband is constantly reminding me that he does not want me neglecting the very thing I am blogging about.

I can be home physically with my children, but not home in my heart.

So how can we help combat these temptations?

~First, we need to pray daily for our priorities to be the priorities the Lord would have for us.

~Consider turning off the phone, or using an answering machine to screen calls during those critical times of the day, when mommy is most needed.

~Carve out time that you know you will have to do these things.  In my home, we have a rest time where if you are not napping, you must be quiet, or outside to give me some down time.  I have let that slip and have tried to enforce it again lately. During that time, I can rest if I need to, or more often I will be on the computer, blog, etc.  Also, my husband does overtime once or twice a week from home, after the children go to bed.  I also have that time to work on this blog or whatever I feel needs doing.

~Ask your husband if he would give you a chunk of time where he can keep the children when he gets home from work for you to have that long, engaging, edifying conversation with another sister in Christ once in awhile.

I am a very social person.  I am thankful for things like email and Facebook.  And I love blog hopping.  But, if it is not controlled we can be as the woman in the scripture whose feet are often abroad without ever stepping foot outside our home.

I am sharing these things because they are constant challenges to me.  So, let’s encourage each other to stay up on the wall today!  I would love to hear any of your thoughts!

My next post I will seek to wrap up this series in speaking of two last temptations we face that is common to most of us.  Stay tuned!

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Did you miss the first part of this series?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

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Don’t come down from that wall! Pt 2

And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?” Nehemiah 6:3
As I mentioned in my last post, there are many temptations that we as mothers face to come down off the wall…to get distracted from our high calling.  Our work is of such eternal value that the onslaughts against it are many! I would like to look at two particular areas today that at least for me, and I am sure for others have been a challenge as a mother.

1. Discouragement/ Lack of Progress:

Do you ever feel like instead of going forward in the teaching and training of your children you are going backwards?  You have corrected for the hundredth time and want to give up? Maybe the area you had thought you had finished your training in raises its head again in your home.  Or maybe you realize that you have been working on the same character issues for years and see very little progress.   I know for myself, this can cause me to want to throw in the towel and sit down in despair and discouragement.  Seeing so very many issues that still need to be dealt with in my children can easily overwhelm me and make me feel ready to sink to my knees on the floor and cry for a good while.

2. Past Failures/Our Own Sins:

We have fallen on our faces, we have lost our tempers with our little ones, been impatient and cranky.  We have come down off the wall many times before, lost momentum and now are so far behind we do not know if we ever can rebuild.  We feel keenly our inadequacy and inability for such a great work as mothering is.  The enemy loves to whisper in our ear ” You are a failure, look at the mess you have made of everything.  What is different this time than the last time you fell flat?”

and he is right…

We are failures, we are nothing, we are inadequate…apart from Christ, that is.  But our God says,

“Faithful [is] he that calleth you, who also will do [it].” 1 Thess. 5:24

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Phil. 4:13

What did Nehemiah do when the enemy was rising up against them threating to overthrow their vision?  They prayed and set a watch.  Let us raise our voices to the One who gave us this calling, who breathed life into these little ones.  He will give us the grace and strength and in leaning upon Him HE  is glorified.

The fruits of our labors may be slow in coming, but the Lord’s word will not return void.  We must press on and not grow weary.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Gal. 6:9

When the enemy whispers in our ears, we need to speak God’s word back to him.  In the psalms you see David talking to his own heart..

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” Psalm 42:5

His mercies are new every morning…so today is fresh start.  So love your babies, hug your child a little tighter, smile a little broader, and let’s pick up our wall building tools and get to work.

And believe you me…I am talking to myself…bigtime!

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My Cup Runneth Over

the day is rainy and drizzly

gray clouds, dreary skies

the house has clutter all around

paper, pens, books, toys

I hear children whining

the calling of “mama” swirls around me hitting me from all sides

multitasking takes on a new meaning as I try and handle many things at once

“watch you do cartwheels?” sure

“help you with math?” sure

“bandage your sliced open finger? of course

…and don’t forget the baby’s diaper

I hear bickering and am the referee…again.

my head swirls

I am so fatigued…

where do I look?

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.” Psalm 121: 1-4

where will I choose to look?

within or upward?

when I look upward I see…

signs of learning and vibrant life everywhere

sweet, beautiful children loving their mama so much they want to be with her

one brother making the other brother a gift as a surprise, which results in smiles and hugs

a daughter that shames me by her humble diligence in her daily tasks

sweet kisses, muddy toes, precious noises of joyful activity

siblings that can’t wait to have their turn holding and caring for their newborn brother

and the conclusion is undeniable–

truly, my cup runneth over

today, dear sister you have fresh mercies filling your cup

may you have a blessed day!

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One of my favorite pastors David Murray is doing a series on caring for someone with depression.  David Murray is what I call a “Dr of the Heart”.  He has been such a blessing to me and my family.  If you or a loved one is struggling with depression, please glean from this man of God.  Head over to the blog Head, Heart, Hand.

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TILT (14/01/10) waiting for spring
I wrote this post a year ago on my private blog and it seems so fitting to post it once again…so many of my thoughts are the same and this could have been written today. Only this spring we are excitedly awaiting the birth of our precious little boy, who is due in less than 4 weeks! Spring is such a poignant season, isn’t it? New life, new beginnings, the warm breeze rustling in the air, promising restoration after sometimes very hard winters. The Lord is so good to give us spring.

Spring 2009

As many of you may know that this has been a very difficult winter for me. We miscarried Baby Sita, I have had some health issues that involved a lot of depression and fatigue. Many of my days have consisted in taking one hour at a time, and learning how to truly rest and trust.

Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.”
I have been blessed by the help that has surrounded me and the mercies of the Lord at this time of my life.

“My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

I have loved Song of Solomon for many years now. The passage above has had a particular sweetness to me, and never so much as now. When I was courting my beloved husband we would write back and forth to each other (as well as long phone conversations and weekend visits). These were the days before email. These letters were very precious. We were to be married in the spring. And I remember S saying to me as it grew closer. “It is springtime, time to build a nest”. On the back of his letters he would write a portion of these verses. “Rise up my love, my fair one and come away, for the lo the winter is past, the rain is over and gone….Arise, my love, my fair one and come away”. Of course as a young bride to be this was very sweet to my heart.
But these verses reach far deeper in my heart and strike a strong cord within me this season as well. This hard winter of darkness and doubts, trials and tribulations has had many tears for me. But, the harbingers of spring are appearing. The sun is shining again. We are beginning to feel the warmth of it on our shoulders just a bit as we step outside. I hear our new baby chicks chirping in the kitchen as I write. Surely, the spring is very close. So, in my heart I am longing for my Beloved Jesus to say to me, “Rise up my love, for lo the winter in your heart is over, the rain of trials is gone…it is springtime for your heart now as well. Time for sweet communion and the light of my grace to pour with warmth over your heart. It is a time of loves, a time for refreshment and quiet peace in your soul. Come away in secret communion with your Heavenly Husband.”
As I have posted before we have a vineyard nearby which each time we go into a particular part of town we see. It is a beautiful spot and we love to watch the changes in this place with each season. We watch with eagerness for the first shoots of green, the sprigs of spring upon these vines..then the beautiful lustre of summertime growth, the grapes appearing and then the harvest. In the fall and winter then the vines are cut way back and there appears a season of deadness. How can these vines every bear fruit again? But alas, the spring comes again..”The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell.”

So today, as the sun is shining and spring is coming very soon, may our hearts also feel the warmth of the Son’s rays in our souls…reviving, refreshing, restoring us with His love.

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On A Cloudy Day…

It’s another day and I pull my aching body out of bed.  It pulls me like a magnet to stay nestled beneath the quilts, but eventually I turn away from it’s draw and begin to sluggishly go through the morning motions.  When I think about the day, an empty feeling comes to my mind.  Where is the drive, energy, passion for this day God has given me?

I mechanically go through the motions of the things that I know I must do, hoping those around me don’t feel the darkness.  I have so much to be thankful for…why the clouds?  I feel the movement of this baby within, stretching out and letting me know he is getting crowded in there.  I so long to hold and cuddle this little one…and Lord willing, will be soon.  I am a woman most blessed.  Why then do I groan within and feel that I could melt into tears, pulling the covers over my head?

“You are a terrible mother.”  I hear whispering inside.  “What a failure you are.”  And all the list of expectations that I have written inside my mind’s eye, rise up to condemn me.

My energy is zapped, no strength left to even fight, it seems. Where is my faith?  My heart inwardly groans.  And I recognize the visitor.  It’s name is Depression.  It is an unwelcome friend that visits me often.  And when it comes, it is a battle to keep perspective.  If I were truly walking with my God, would I not feel joy at all times?  But, that is like saying that if I am a strong Christian I would never break my arm.  The Lord has given me this physical trial of depression and it is good.

I have thought that the Lord would be better glorified by bringing me out of such a state.  And He has many times.  But, this visitor comes again and it is because the Lord sees it best for me.  I don’t like it.  It hurts.  My heart groans within.  But, the Gardener knows the best way to prune me.  So I must lie down and submit under it.

And I must remember that my Christ knows and sympathizes fully with my infirmity.  And He is there in the sorrows and tears as well as the joys.  Even though it feels terrible, to be empty is the best place to be.  His love towards me does not change with my fluctuating emotions and feelings.

So, I wait.  Knowing that surely “He will perfect that which concerneth me.”  And the sunshine will come again, in my Lord’s perfect timing.

“Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether.” Song of Solomon 2:17

“Who [is] among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh [in] darkness, and hath no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.”  Isaiah 50:10

“My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” Psalm 73:26

Do any of you struggle with visits from this same friend? Leave me a comment and let’s encourage each other?

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